Saturday, November 12, 2016

World Series Champs!

What an exciting time to be in Chicago! And oh how those Cubs stressed us out. 
Here are the boys watching Game 7. Note Tommy's lucky sweatshirt (they win whenever he's worn it) and note that Tommy is most likely texting his brother. Ha. Blaiser in pajamas happily watching after downing some Portillo's chocolate cake. 
It was a nailbiter... But... Cubs won!!!
We celebrated by decorating our neighbor's house who works for the Cubs. Blaise enjoyed learned to TP from his mom. 
The next day we took a spin around Wrigley. 

Fall at our House

The kids were all very certain about what they'd dress as for Halloween this year. Blaise wanted to be a soldier with a gun. (Such a big change from his ice cream cone costume.) Gus was insistent upon being "a black bat." And Rosie, why Cinderella of course! 
We've been up to visit Lily a few times this month. Rosie helped pick out a mum for her. Lily's mum matches those on our front porch. 

Friday, October 28, 2016

Gus Bwyant

Gus has lovingly worn a hand-me-down Starlin Castro jersey for 2 years. It was time for an upgrade. 
We went over to Wrigley just the two of us on Sunday night (Gus in pjs) and picked out this badboy. The jersey he chose? His favorite "Kwis Bwyant."
I hope the kids always remember this exciting time in Chicago. 

Sunday, October 16, 2016


Yesterday we took the kids to Notre Dame. It was a golden day with unseasonably warm weather. We caught up with dear friends. Blaise tossed the football outside Alumni Hall. Gus drank three Gatorades. Rosie was only lost once. 

I hesitate to document these days now. 
How to explain the feeling of happiness and sadness coexisting? How to share these trivial moments, knowing Lily cannot be a part of them.

(Gus and Rosie high on Gatorade. Woot.)

But, Lily, yesterday you were there with us. 
...When I was asked "How many children do you have?" and stammered an answer 
...When a long lost friend bumped into us, and acknowledged your loss 
-When we spotted lilies on campus (I've got the kids trained to look for them!)
...When our family picture was taken, even though it is incomplete 

I've been waiting to clear my throat and get started again on the blog. Yesterday was Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I'll let that be a sign that I can write and be present here, but always remember

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Birthday Boy

Today we celebrated Blaise, the eight year old! Where would we be without our human GPS? 
Blaise, you made us parents, and for that you are special. You have a unique relationship with many people. You look up to Dad, help Rosie, play with Gus, and take care of me. 
This is how I find you- with your head in a book. Even as a baby you'd crawl over and sit with your book basket. Some mornings (many moons ago) Dad and I could sleep in 'til 9:00 because you'd be reading happily in your crib. 
Your other love: sports. It was fun taking you to a Cubs game in May. You sat and watched each play, glued to the action. That intensity comes from another TBD we know. 
Your heart is close to God. You understood the magnitude of your first communion. You share your faith with others. (One of your Masses at home)
You understand my heart. Some days I tell you "Blaise, I'm really missing Lily today." You tell me with a reassuring voice, "That makes sense." Whenever you mention your siblings, she is included, whether in prayer, in conversation, or simply in number, 4. 
(Blaise with Tommy on left, Lily with Tommy on right
One of my happiest moments this spring was because of you, Blaise. Our neighbors had purchased lilies to plant on our block and had made a banner and some balloons that said Lily. Seeing the balloons, you requested to send them up to Lily. The neighbors all gathered to watch as you knelt in the street, said a prayer, and released the balloons, all on your own. 
It's wonderful sharing the twists and turns of life with you, Blaise. Thank you for the lessons you teach us each day. And may you never get too old or cool for the penny pony. :)

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Book buddies

A little Clifford to pass the time. 

Thursday, April 21, 2016

You are Mine

Blaiser made his First Holy Communion a week ago. His heart was ready for Jesus. He counted down the days like it was Christmas.

The whole family came to support him. He felt like a superstar. Mimi and Papa Clark, his godparents, sat with him.

It was a bittersweet day, as Bishop Kane was going to baptize Lily at the mass. Our hearts were heavy, missing her.

The Eucharist gives strength. May it always sustain you, Blaise, as we never know what lies ahead.

There was one song from Lily's funeral that was also sung at Blaise's communion.

Do not be afraid I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow me
I will lead you home
I love you and you are mine

(Lily receiving her blessing in the hospital from Fr. Joe)

Thursday, March 24, 2016


The kids have all been named after saints, but now our family has a real one. Please meet our beloved fourth child, Lily.

Lily was delivered on February 25 at almost 39 weeks. My water broke and we raced to the hospital. Upon arrival, Lily's heartbeat wasn't detectable. The doctor cried as she told us the news.

Tommy predicted Lily was a girl, and like always, he was correct. Lily's cheeks were round and kissable, and she had a perfect button nose. She was our second biggest baby at 7 lbs, 2 oz. She looked so much like her brothers and sister. 

Our day with Lily was filled with peace. Blaise, Gus and Rosie came to the hospital with Becky and Maggi. My parents arrived from Michigan. Together, we gave Lily so much love. Rosie wanted to hold Lily the whole time. The kids gave Lily a little pink cat lovey that they had chosen.  

Fr. Joe met us at the hospital and gave Lily a beautiful blessing, there with our family. He cried as he said it. 

Tommy and I kept Lily with us as long as we possibly could. As we said goodbye to her, the nurse prayed with us. I revisit this day over and over in my mind. 

As we were preparing to leave the hospital, Tommy went downstairs for a few minutes. He came back up with the most perfect bouquet of white lilies so that I wouldn't leave empty handed. It was the most thoughtful thing. I wept. 

Lily's Memorial Mass was March 1 at St. Michael. Both of her godparents, Maggi and Jake, read. The children laid lilies on her casket. So many family, friends and neighbors honored us by attending. We buried our sweet baby in a blizzard. Blaise knelt down in the snow next to her as Fr. Joe blessed her one last time.

Blaise shared some beautiful insight on Lily. In his First Communion book he drew our family. I loved to see little Lily there, up above the blue line. 

He has also reminded me, in my tears, "Every day we move farther from the sad day, and a little closer to seeing her again." 
Amen, Blaise. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The tale of Lobsty

Every time we go grocery shopping, Gus has to visit the lobster tank to find "Lobsty." Lobsty is the king of the tank, the lobster always on top of the pile and looking ready to fight. Gus loves him and always wants to take him home. 
Well, Sunday he did. 
Here's a little family nature study. Even Rosie No Fear Demko wanted to pick him up. 
I kept my distance. 
The kids turned on the Wild Kratts lobster episode while TBD and I made dinner. Then Gus dropped Lobsty into the pot. 
Dad thought these bibs were a necessity. :)
Team Lobsty:
And Blaise won't eat seafood because they're "magnificent creatures." :)
RIP Lobsty

Thursday, February 18, 2016

On trend

Rosie and T. Swift share a haircut. Bobs. So hot right now. 

Sunday, February 14, 2016


TBD brought home a flower surprise yesterday. He chose such a beautiful bouquet. Sunflowers, which remind us of Blaise, big mums for Gus, Roses for you-know-who, and pretty pink lilies. Xoxo
And to top it off, he brought Rosie a flower of her own. She keeps asking to hold it. 

Friday, February 12, 2016


And this is what happens when I take my eyes off the prize for ten minutes...

It's Friday, I'm in love!

Happy Friday and Happy Valentine's Day!
Rosie looked extra cute to me this morning. Something about the mittens and footie pajamas, and just watching her run around all carefree and two. 
Rosie: "I LIKE tea pah-tees" 
This tea set from Papa Clark has been one of her favorite gifts. Gus always wants to join in, too. 
These two have been cute to watch together. They both have a mischievous, funny side that makes them laugh a lot together. I enjoy their conversations:
g: "Wosie I have a suh-pwise for you"
r: (shocked) "Oh!!"
g: "wook, Wosie! It's a bwanket!"
The two wild things make mud pies. 
Laying in a box. Endless fun. 
Blaise and Rosie also have their own special appreciation for each other. As roommates, he helps her out of her crib in the morning. At night, they read books together by the light of his little lantern. He's her protector, always making sure she isn't near the street, or splashing in the toilet. Once I had to run to the neighbors and left Blaise in charge of the littles for 5 mins. I talked a little too long and when I came back he had turned off the oven which was baking a pizza, had changed Rosie's diaper (!), and was setting the table. He will be such a good husband and father. 
Rosie received this "prayer bear" in the mail from Aunt Nina. She will not let it leave her sight. There have been a few fights over prayer bear. Naturally!
Lastly, Blaise's research project on Golden Bamboo Lemurs. He is so proud of it and it turned out really cute (and funny!) 
PS-do you see baby?