Picking up

 Found this old blog today when I was rummaging for a certain baby picture of Rosie. Now with a 12, 9, 7, 3 and 5 month old (and Lily you’d be nearly 5), life seems to be flying by a little faster than I’d like. What a gift it was to look back and read about our daily adventures and quips. 

It was hard to continue the blog as it had been after Lily’s loss. But, by the grace of God, life seems so much happier and fuller now. (Yes, even in the midst of a pandemic. More on that later!) God has granted us not one, but two baby girls to help heal our hearts. Here is our newest, Poppy, born 8/12/20

This week

Violet received flowers 🌸

Violet smiled 

We ate lunch with dad downtown and then rode the Water Taxi 

There was some sleeping 

And matching 

A party at the firehouse 

And pizza. Lots of pizza. 

💜Our girl💜

Showing some leg in purple polka dots (Thanks, Laura and Carolin!)

Funny Uncle Danny recreates Lion King

Sisters (Gus?!?)

Meeting MI cousins

Meeting Cousin Annie

Blaise is in love with her 

Tiny head huge paci

Met my cousin in a bar 

She's here!

Violet Grace was born June 1. We couldn't believe SHE was a SHE!

The big siblings came with Mimi and G-Pops to meet their sister, who still didn't have a name. We ate pizza and they took turns holding her.  

Violet was named the next morning. We had to sleep on her name since we were so convinced she was a boy. Tommy was finally wrong in his prediction!

Rosie, Lily and Violet- a special bouquet. 

We are very grateful for a new baby to love. 

Welcome to the family, Violet. 💜💜💜💜💜

What's shakin'

Someone had to move to the way back, and in an act of shear genius, Tommy convinced Rosie only big girls could sit back there. And she bought it. Smiles all around! 🙌

This is just a shot of "Happy Gus." Gus. You help me clean and never complain. You come up and ask if we can snuggle. You are starting to read early reader books and are so proud. 

Roro is a good sport and heads with me to Dailey Method quite a bit. She loves to run around in the barre room when it empties out. 

And baseball. Lots and lots of baseball. Good thing you have your chair and sparkle sunglasses, Rose. 

G-Pops and I riding the bench. Blaise playing catch with Tommy in the background. 

Rosie, who chose this entire ensemble, right down to the baby she's "pregnant" with. 

Elisa made her First Communion! And had such a grace about her. Blaise chose those flowers for her at the store. Gotta love a rainbow daisy. 

Katy sent this beautiful box for Lily's birthday. It sits with some of Lily's mementos on the nightstand. Rosie has taken to adding trinkets to the box that she wants to share with Lily. This day was necklaces, sometimes it's a snack, a little toy or nail polish. 💗  

And here's Rose next to a rose we spotted out and about. 

An after school treat 👍👍👍

Blaise bonding with Baby Annie. He's our baby whisperer. And she's just the cutest!!

And last, here's the precious baby we will meet in just a week on June 1. 💗💗💗💗💗

Moments of joy

We stopped for ice cream today after swim lessons. Rosie chose blue moon right away and enjoyed every last blue drop. 

Blaise has a new bike- with hand brakes and gears! He tested it out on Wolfram. 

We visited the new Whole Foods which has a mini arcade. The boys learned Frogger. 

Rosie and I took a long walk to meet friends for lunch. When we passed the library she insisted upon entering, then insisted upon doing this puzzle with me. It took at least 30 min (she had to do each piece by hand) but we conquered the four layers of the rainforest. I'm having to say no to so many of her demands that a yes sure felt good. 

Visits with Lily

Wanted to capture defining moments from the past year, and thought I'd begin in an unusual spot, the cemetery. Lily is buried in the infant section of a large, Catholic cemetery about thirty minutes from our house. We laid her to rest on March 1, in the middle of a blizzard. I remember Danny carrying her to the gravesite, Fr. Joe saying her final blessings, and Blaise voluntarily kneeling down in the snow next to her.
Because Lily isn't here, I am grateful to do anything for her, as a mother would. One of those tasks was ensuring her headstone was just right. It's very simple but each option I deliberated over; the wording, shade, finding the perfect little angel.

The first time I returned to the cemetery, it was spring. Kelly had cut a tulip from her garden for Rosie to lay on Lily's grave.  When we arrived at the cemetery, I had forgotten how vast it is. I could find Lily's general area, and knew she was close to a tree.  It would be tricky though to find her since the headstone hadn't yet arrived. With that, Rosie and I unloaded and started walking. After ten minutes of searching, I spotted a tree, and near it a patch of brown dirt, signaling it was Lily. Tears, tears, tears. As we approached the grave, I happened to glance down, and burst into laughter. The baby buried directly at Lily's feet is nicknamed "McLovin" on the tombstone. Not joking. So now whenever we visit Lily we first pass McLovin and have a smile, before the tears. He must be a fun baby friend to have.

...

I wonder if Lily knows about her crazy sister? Rosie is the independent, self-assured little girl I always dreamt of for a daughter, but oh, can she test the limits. Sometimes she and I go to visit Lily together, while the boys are in school. We had to talk to Rosie about not stomping on graves. (Yes, she did. and laughed.) We also had to teach the kids not to pick anything up, as there are loads of toys and trinkets scattered around.  

This particular day, as I turn to surveil Rosie, she has picked up a small, ceramic Mary statue and is carrying it around. Annoyed, I say, "Rosie, you set that down now!" Looking me straight in the eye, she extends her arm, opens her fist, and drops the statue onto the headstone beneath her, smashing it to pieces. Lily, did you laugh at our mother daughter cemetery brawl?

...

It feels most right visiting Lily when there's a blanket of snow. It reminds Tommy and I of the day we buried her. We snuck out two days before Christmas to bring Lily a little poinsettia. When we arrived at the cemetery, the ground was completely white. Since the markers are all flat and close together, we knew it would be tricky to find her. We walked out to the tree we know she is close to, Tommy picked a spot, dug his glove down and said "well, let's start here." There, in that exact spot, we looked down and saw pink granite. It was Lily. We laughed and burst into tears. It was the greatest Christmas gift. It proved to be even more remarkable, as we sought to uncover McLovin, and couldn't find him after 15 minutes. Dad always knows where to find you, Lily.